The revolutionary electric car company Tesla announced on Friday that they are close to perfecting a revolutionary new driver’s assist system complete with a brand new AI (artificial intelligence) that will allow all sub-systems to operate seamlessly.
The new DBSD (digital back seat driver) system has advanced new features including audible alerts and voice control features for a true hands-free and safe driving experience. Some of the features include but are not limited to;
1. Audible alerts when following too closely.
2. 24/7 speed monitoring with reminders to slow down every few minutes.
3. Notifications for aggressive breaking behaviors.
4. A friendly reminder that a bathroom break is needed 20 minutes into a long road trip.
5. Automatic radio channel surfing that occasionally says “I love this song” before changing the station. You now never have to guess what you’re missing on every local station.
6. Friendly reminders that you should stop and ask for directions.
7. Generation of a custom list of unnecessary snacks needed for every recharge and bathroom stop. (System will always generate a healthy $50 worth of beef jerky, drinks, and chips regardless of how many unopened snacks are on hand).
Advanced features include notifying other drivers of traffic violations in order to increase safety in general. For instance, there are audible notifications for drivers who fail to use a blinker when changing to the lane in front of you. A more advanced feature is a notification when a car behind you passes and then pulls back in your lane (with or without a blinker) and then slows down abruptly to take the next exit. Tesla is planning on integrating the horn and holographic hand gestures in the future.
You may be asking yourself how this fully integrated system works. At the heart of the DBSD system is an advanced new AI called the Neuron Application Gateway, or NAG for short.
The NAG has the ability to not only to monitor all sub-systems but can also randomly generate interactive experiences in order to break up that long and boring road trip. Studies have shown that without interaction, drivers may endure long periods of peaceful and non-stop driving that ultimately lands them at their destination before the expected time. Scientific consensus has determined that occasional interaction helps to prevent this.
One of the key features of the NAG is to request frequent updates on travel status by asking questions like are we there yet or how much longer. Interacting with the NAG is a key element to travel, so there is a built-in emergency notification when the interaction is limited. The audible “I’m bored” notification lets the driver know that more attention needs to be given to the NAG.
This groundbreaking new system will become standard by 2030 on all family transportation models, such as SUVs, Crossovers, Wagons, and Vans. It will however be optional on higher-end sports models.
If this high-speed system seems a bit overwhelming for some, you need not fear. There are vocal overrides that can temporarily shut some systems down temporarily while the driver gets used to the new features. The phrase “I’m going to turn this car around” will shut down most systems temporarily (about 20-30 minutes). If you want to disable the system for a more extended period of time, then simply turn around and speak over the back seat while indiscriminately driving blindly at highway speeds and use the phrase “do I need to come back there”. This will disable the system for approximately 45 minutes to an hour. On sports modes, the system can be permanently disabled by safely pulling over, opening the passenger door, and using the command “GET OUT”.
In summary, the Digital Back Seat Driving System and NAG show great promise in restoring the essence of the long-lost family road trip.